I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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