Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
