I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
