They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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