So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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