do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Even my vagina gasped.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
