At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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