Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
