ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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