Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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