I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
