His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
