Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
