I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
