Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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