none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize