OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.