He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success