I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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