i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.