Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

  (360): View more from Washington

  let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd! (360): let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off. http://tfl.nu/xgs8
  Replies (22) Good night (1968) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): 1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office http://tfl.nu/b4dd
  Replies (18) Good night (4868) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there. http://tfl.nu/bvrv
  Replies (27) Good night (4695) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out. http://tfl.nu/k9ox
  Replies (18) Good night (5107) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza. http://tfl.nu/d9wz
  Replies (20) Good night (2921) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed. http://tfl.nu/ahym
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight? (563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World http://tfl.nu/s9cv
  Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there? http://tfl.nu/271n
  Replies (4) Good night (1576) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life. http://tfl.nu/tysm
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on http://tfl.nu/1fwc
  Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon. http://tfl.nu/hw0j
  Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week. http://tfl.nu/6col
  Replies (11) Good night (639) Bad night (1490)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like http://tfl.nu/ufx0
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day. (1-360): You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide. http://tfl.nu/twrd
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (222)

Randomize