hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
