If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So many bounce houses so little time
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
