oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
