I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
