Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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