The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
