it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
