The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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