...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
