I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
