ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
