At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
