i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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