guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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