i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
