Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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