If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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