With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
