I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
