i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
