So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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