Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Life is so much better after having sex.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
