shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
