maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
