even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
