if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize