your room smells of hookers.
And success
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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