I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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