Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
