Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
