But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
