yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
