i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
