They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
