The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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