Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
