Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
