he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
