i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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