Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize