We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
