her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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