Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
