They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
