I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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