covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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