rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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