You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
