we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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