I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
